and the Creek Don't Rise...
If you are from the South, chances are you've heard this phrase a time or two. I can remember growing up hearing a little old lady making plans, "The Good Lord willing I'll see you at lunch on Friday." I wondered what on earth she was talking about. What did the Good Lord have to do with lunch on Friday? Why would He care if she went to lunch or not? Later when I heard the creek part thrown in a time or two, I really got to thinking. Why would the creek rise, and where is this mysterious creek that that has a mind of its own, and what on earth does it have to do with anything?
Have I mentioned I was a very literal child? Now that I'm a little older, I've come to understand this phrase better than I ever imagined. Being the mother of three young children, every plan I make seems to have an air of "if the creek don't rise" to it.
Friend: "Why don't you guys come over for a playdate next week."
Me: "Sounds great" (assuming of course that no one catches the swine flu, breaks a leg, or develops whooping cough).
Husband: "Let's go to the beach at the end of July."
Me: "Sure!" (unless of course the car breaks down, or the downstairs air conditioning unit finally gives out.)
Don't get me wrong. I am not a pessimist. In fact, I've always been fairly entrenched in the optimists' camp. But, mythical reader, let's be honest. Sometimes the Good Lord is not willing and sometimes the creek does rise, and who am I to say it should be any different. Husbands go out of town for work unexpectedly; children break out in hives for no apparent reason; and babysitters cancel. So, sometimes it's just easier not to make plans lest someone be disappointed. But for me, not making plans because they may be broken has become an excuse, a cop out.
I've been telling myself for years that I should write a blog. In a former life I was a writer (that would be the life I lived pre-children, not an actual previous life for those of you now concerned about the state of my soul.) But every time I would think about finally writing a blog, I'd get swept up in the rising tide: "When do I have time to write?" "My kids will never leave me alone long enough to write." "It's so noisy in hear I can't string two words together, much less two paragraphs."
But what I have finally come to realize is that being a writer isn't just about writing words on paper and having them published. Being a writer is who I am. Even though I haven't been published in years, that doesn't mean I haven't been writing. Even with the screaming, whining, crying and fussing that three children can produce, I've been composing articles, essays, newsletters, blog posts, etc. in my head for years, and it is time, mythical reader, to let them out.
So, I'm making plans. The Good Lord willing, I am going to write! (And I think it might actually be part of His plan, so here I go). I'll admit I'm a little nervous. It's been a while since I've had an audience. It's also been a while since I've had a deadline that did not include turning in permission slips to school. My plan is to write frequently, even though I have three kids who will yell, whine and screech to get my attention while I write. (There's that creek again! You never know when it's going to rear its ugly head.)
My thought is that maybe if I do start writing again (outside of my head, that is) I will feel a little more like myself, a grown-up, accomplished woman, and not just like my kids' mom. Please don't misunderstand. I love being my kids' mom, but what I don't love is overhearing my son say, "my dad's an engineer, but my mom's just a mom." (That could be a whole blog post in and of itself, but we'll just leave it at "it bothers me" for now.) I think maybe it's time for me to be more than "just a mom" to keep from going completely insane! So, read me if you want or don't. I don't care (actually I care way more than I should, mythical reader, but I'm trying to be blase' about the whole thing). I'll be posting here either way.